A Schlong Time Ago: Everything You Never Knew You Needed To Know About Rasputin's Penis

The man, the myth, the legend, the Mad Monk himself, Rasputin has been immortalised in history and pop culture as Russia’s greatest love machine, in part, due to his notably large willy. But did you know that (supposedly) after his grisly death in 1916 his famous penis was chopped off, and would go on to have a convoluted journey of ownership and (for some) religious significance. 

Soon after his death, a group of religious extremist Russian immigrants in France in 1920 claimed to have come into possession of the member, who were treating it as a religious relic capable of increasing fertility. Once word of this reached Rasputin’s daughter she was (understandably) mortified and reclaimed the family jewels. After her death in 1994 an American collector claimed to have gotten the penis from her estate, however that was (disappointingly) proved to be a shrivelled sea-cucumber. 

The story doesn’t end there, in 2004, the Museum of Erotica in St. Petersburg * claims to have the whopping 12 inch pecker pickled in a jar as a proud centrepiece in their museum.

Experts (A.K.A: spoil-sports) believe the beefy schlong most likely belongs to a cow rather than the villain from Anastasia (1997). Considering the autopsy report doesn’t indicate a missing member at the time his body was recovered it seems most likely. That is all to say that pretty much everything I just said is pretty much all an urban legend and there is actually very little (if any) truth to it, but boy is it a fun story.

Are you interested in the idea of a 12 inch dong? Why not check out the ones available at Funtasia? (definitely not made of preserved bovine penis or your money back)

Funtasia Sexpert and Boney M Fan

Verin Sampson 

* absolute bucket list travel destination 

Source:

Giacomazzo, B. (2022)The true story of Rasputin’s legendary penis, from its massive size to its ‘mystical’ powers,All That’s Interesting. Available at:https://allthatsinteresting.com/rasputin-penis