Movie Review: Hysteria (2011)

There are very few rules to this blog, basically as long as it is somewhat adjacent to sexual wellbeing or products we pretty much have free reign to write about it. Thus far my favourite avenue to achieve this has been theSchlong Time Ago series, which lets me spend ages going down increasingly obscure internet rabbit holes of sex history. Is it how I envisioned using my history and archaeology degree? No. But it is incredibly fun. I’ve slowly been working on an edition focused on the history of the vibrator, during the research for which I discovered the 2011 movie Hysteria, based on the invention of said device. Not thinking too much about it, I asked my movie buff housemate and bestie if she would be down to watch it with me, thinking I could add maybe a sentence or two to the bigger story. That was until we sat down to watch it, and we spent 1 hour and 39 minutes of our lives kinda baffled. This movie was an absolute ride and fully deserving of its own blog post so here we are. I very much do recommend this movie, despite its flaws, so if you plan on watching it, just know I’m basically going to spoil the entire thing here. 

This screenshot absolutely cracks me up, imagine looking down at the gyno and seeing this

To start this movie off we have Hugh Dancy, with a distractingly modern looking hairstyle for the 1880’s, as the actual historical figure credited with the invention of the vibrator Dr. Granville. Immediately off to an interesting start, the movie for some reason decided to ignore the fact that Dr. Granville’s first name was Joseph. The entire movie he goes by his middle name, Mortimer. My bestie’s hypothesis was that Mortimer is just a bit more fun sounding than Joseph, which is honestly the only real reason I can think of. 

The plot really kicks off when Mortimer is hired by Dr. Robert Dalrymple (not a real dude), a well off doctor who specialises in treating women with hysteria via “pelvic massage”to induce a hysterical paroxysm. Basically he was finger banging upper class women to make them less cranky. And taking his sweet time doing it as well, each patient takes the better part of an hour. I guess this is supposed to show how terribly taxing the procedure was for these poor doctors so of course they would have to invent a device to help them out. Personally I feel like their technique was probably lacking. Now having lived and breathed the history of sex toys for a while now, I had a good idea that this was how the movie was going to go. My bestie however, knew only the broad strokes. So it was deeply entertaining to see her reaction to women going to see an old ass doctor, hopping into Victorian-Era stirrups, hiking their skirts up to get fiddled until they nutted (for health reasons). 

One of Dr Dalrymple's satisfied customers

We soon meet Dr Dalrymple’s two daughters. The eldest; Maggie Gyllenhaal (I seriously wish I could remember her name but my bestie and I spent the entire movie calling her Maggie Gyllenhaal) tries to give this movie some kind of feminist (ish) message. She's not like other girls, because she's feisty and cares about poor people! And (white) women's rights!! The younger daughter, Emily is a much more traditional woman, although she does have a rather silly and goofy field of study, phrenology. Now most people would be forgiven for not knowing what this was. Phrenology was a ridiculous pseudoscience from the 18th/19th centuries that basically said the shape of a person’s skull demonstrated their moral character. This pure bullshit was used as “scientific” justification to be super racist. I could write a whole essay on phrenology and my unbridled hatred of it, but for the sake of keeping this light hearted I won’t.

Other notable characters in the movie include Molly the Lolly, a sex worker who is currently working as a maid for Dr Dalrymple at the behest of Maggie Gyllenhaal. Molly is honestly one of my favourite characters. Between her and Granville’s (homoerotic) roommate Edmund St. John-Smythe (not a real dude but played by Rupert Everett)it seems obvious to me at least some people are aware of the female orgasm and its benefits.

Ah yes, science

Molly is also an absolute legend who offers to blow Hugh Dancy (relatable) for the bargain price of 6 pounds sterling. Unable to let details slide, I decided to google what that would be these days. 6 pounds in 1880 is around 907 pounds today, or about $1700 AUD. Therefore I can only deduce that Molly must give the best head in the 19th century and I love that for her. The writers also saw an opportunity to sneak a character named Fanny into this movie, and I respect the hell out of them for it. 

the icon herself. 

Granville very quickly takes over most of the procedures at Dr Dalrymple's clinic, and proves very good at it. So good that he is jerking off dozens of women per day and he just can’t keep up with demand! The poor guy is getting carpal tunnel, and we see a montage of happy women and him doing physio hand exercises. Eventually, this takes such a toll on him that he can’t make this one opera singer finish, at which time he is fired. Which to me seems a bit nuts, he's shown to have a pretty good batting average, but apparently we can’t let one slide. 

This isn't a screenshot from the movie, I believe its a poster, but it shows off the ray-gun- sorry vibrator pretty well

This is where his slightly eccentric housemate comes in handy, because guess who has been experimenting with handheld electrical devices? After holding a vibrating feather duster on his sore hand, the pair realise this could help Granville keep up with demand for pelvic massage in a less taxing way.

The feather duster that helps our protagonists realise vibrations feel great 

But who to experiment on? Enter the absolute diva, Molly. The frankly unsettling device  is hooked up to a BIG ASS generator was able to induce 3 paroxysms from Molly within 5 minutes. They bring this handy invention to the clinic and we are back in business, curing women from hysteria, one orgasm at a time

ah yes. more science. 

There is some half hearted plot that is also happening about Maggie Gyllenhaal being a socialist, but really I was only invested in the invention of the vibrator. The thing I find most interesting is despite this being a movie about Dr. Granville invented the vibrator, he kinda didn’t do shit, it was his mate. 

this screenshot also makes me giggle, why do they look like they're in some steampunk sci-fi thing. We're making a woman orgasm guys not living out a Jules Verne novel

Overall, was it a good representation of the history of the vibrator? Sort of but not really; stay tuned for aSchlong Time Ago post for my full thoughts on that. I got a huge kick out of the end credit montage of a lot of the characters getting their hands on their own personal versions, including Queen Victoria herself. Which might be one of the most historically accurate parts of the movie, Queen Vic was a horny lady. If you’re looking for a fun movie to watch I would recommend it. A solid 7/10. It’s currently on Netflix, so go forth and have a movie night with a friend and then come back and share your thoughts.

Funtasia Sexpert and Movie Critic Now I Suppose 

Verin Sampson