How to Choose the Perfect Dildo Or Dong - Part 3: Size and Shape

Dildos and dongs come in every size, shape, and colour imaginable; it can be overwhelming for a first-timer to chooseexactly what is right for them. 

If you're just getting started on your dildo choosing adventure, make sure to read this whole series,Part 1 on Dildo MaterialsandPart 2 on Types of Dildos.

The key here is looking at two main dimensions:

• The diameter and circumference or width of the dildo
• The length and curve of the dildo

Now that you're well on your way to earning a dildo expert degree, let's talk about dimensions and shapes.

Choosing the Right Size Dildo

Don't be intimidated by some of the 14+ inch dildos you findin our stores. No one expects you to pick the biggest one on your first try. Then again, no one will judge you if you grab it off the shelf!

Little Known Dildo Size Facts

• You may notice that the vast majority of dildos are measured in inches. For those of us on the metric system, make sure you knowwhat those inches mean before you click "buy" online!
• Recognise that many manufacturers measure dildos from the suction cup or testicles' base rather than from where the shaft actually starts. If you're in the store, don't be hesitant about bringing a ruler! 
• Typically, dildos and dongs are produced in lengths and widths that vary by about a quarter of an inch. Make sure toread all of the materials if you're buying online. Some of them will be listed as "thicker", "thinner", or something similar.
• Consider the materials. Some materials like TPE and TPR are going to be a bit squishy, so they'll feel more petite once they're inside of you. Those made from firmer materials such as silicone or hard PVC aren't going to squish at all. So know what you're looking for.
• If you're upgrading and want somethingbigger than you already have, start by upping your game by about .25 inches each time, so you can stretch things out step by step and don't experience any discomfort.
• If you want to learn how to take more, try aninflatable dildo to help stretch things out!

Tips for Choosing the Right Sized Dildo

Starting small is the most straightforward piece of advice we have. However, there are a few distinctive tips and tricks we have for vulva-owners and anal-users individually!

Tips for Vulva-Owners

If you are a person with a vagina and vulva, this could be the first phallically shaped item to pass through your pleasure threshold, or you may be a seasoned veteran! According tothis study, six inches was the most popular length among vulva-owners in Australia. Either way,knowing your anatomy and what pleases you will be vital for deciding the right one. 

• Think about your anatomy and what you really want to arouse with the dildo
• The V-spot is at the entry to your vagina on the bottom half. It loves feeling a phallus going in and out of it, usually with a touch of pressure; if this is one of your favourite areas to stimulate, try a dildo with a thickercoronal edge or with texture.
• The G-spot is just a few centimetres inside the vaginal canal and on the belly button-side wall. If you want to focus your attention here, you should aim for something with an upward curve to hit this spot just right.
• The A-spot is found in the last third of the vagina. It is on the belly button-side wall close to the cervix (or gatekeeper to the uterus.) If you love the feeling of this area being stimulated, then you're going to want to go for something longer.
• When you're masturbating or practising solo sex, see how many lubricated fingers fit comfortably inside of your vaginal opening. This can give you a good indication of what sort of thickness or girth you're looking for.
• If you suffer from pain during sex orvaginismus, try avaginal dilator set before investing in a dildo. These will let you slowly get used to inserting things into your vagina.

Tips for Anal-Users

This is going to vary based on whether or not you have a prostate. If you're unsure what a prostate is, check out ourprevious blog post on Playing with the prostate. Likewise, if you're new to anal play, a dildo isn't usually the best place to start. You can check out ourprevious post on Anal Sex Toys 101to see where you should get started.

• For any anal toy, it must have a flared base! Otherwise, you may lose your new and beloved dildo in the land of the great beyond and experience a touch of awkwardness when going to the hospital to retrieve it.
• Think about youranal anatomy as well here. 
• Both internal and external sphincters are amazingly sensitive and love the feeling of pressure and things going (slowly) in and out of them. If you're want to focus on this area, you can choose something shorter with texture or ribbing.
• The prostate is only found in those born male or Assigned Male at Birth (AMAB) and is located roughly a finger's length inside the anus, curved up towards the belly button. If this is your favourite pleasure centre and you want a dildo to stimulate it, consider purchasing something with an upward curve to excite it best
• If you want to get all the way upto the rectum, then the world is your oyster! Choose something as long as you think you can handle, but keep in mind that you should stretch this body part slowly over time, so don't bite off more than you can chew

How are you Going to Use it?

If you're using the dildo for solo sex or voyeuristic affairs, then something with a suction cup is going to be ideal. You can stick it to a wall, desk, bench, or any other hard surface and take it away!

If you want your partner(s) to use it on you, consider trying a dildo with a handle or harness compatible for maximum sharing powers.

To summarise our posts onHow to Choose the Perfect Dildo or Dong:

1. Figure out which materials are ideal for the pleasure you're going for. 
2. What type of dildo do you want to own? What fantasy are you seeking to explore, or what kind of pleasure are you seeking?
3. When choosing the right sized dildo for you and your orifices - your eyes may be bigger than your available orifice!

Get out there, Get in there, and Get off there!

Elaine S. Turner

Sex Coach, Sexuality Educator, & Sexual Wellness Brand Consultant

www.SexWithElaine.com

Elaine@SexWithElaine.com